Dude I totally just thought of Amber reading this. Damn her obsession!

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp07272009.shtml

Also birthday is coming up, next Friday I'll be celebrating for the first time in a while. Barring any horrifying accidents, deaths, plagues or insanity I will be going out with people who want to join us for glow and the dark mini-golf on 80's night. RL friends are invited to join in and rock out.

Possibly heading to a friends house afterwards for a pool party and BBQ, anyone who joins will be required to PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

What the mother loving hell man? Why do I get these random and vivid dreams. Dreams of someone wanting me to draw a dragon. But it ended up being on my own back. I started off as a sleek dragon, full of curves and broad wings, but my hand wouldn't draw it. It grew into a ragged ancient creature, with wings torn and tattered and scales that look cracked and as if it'd seen millenia pass. I was annoyed but kept drawing it when it flexed it's paws and dug them into the skin, lifting it's head upwards and then grew. Tearing into flesh before taking off with me.

Then there were the wolves, hundreds of wolves. Running and dying. And they kept trying to talk to me, but I was always just on the edge of hearing them and they were frustrated. So they killed a fawn.


I've had a weird fucking night for dreams. O o

I almost choked on my soda a few times here.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/attempted-robbery-ends-with-torn-genitals-viagra-hangover/story-e6freuyi-1225753122900

THE attempted armed robbery of a Russian hairdresser became a three-day sex ordeal for the would-be thief, leaving him with torn genitals and a Viagra hangover.

IT website The Register reports the man, known as Viktor, tried to rob the hairdresser in the town of Meshchovsk.

The owner, 28-year-old Olga, agreed to hand over the takings but as she was giving him the money, used her karate skills to knock him to the ground and tie him up with a hairdryer cord.

She then locked him in the storeroom and told colleagues she’d call the police.

However, she instead stripped him and cuffed him to a heater with a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs. She then fed him Viagra and raped him several times over the next four days.

When finally released, Viktor went first to hospital for treatment for his torn frenulum, and then reported Olga to the police. When she was arrested, Olga reported him for robbery.

“What a b**tard,” shecomplained.

“Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1000 roubles when he left.”

Viktor admitted she had fed him well.

I went to Chicago. I did not die. I saw things. I was on water.

There was no black midget and for this I was sad.

There are certain things that amaze me in life. I sit here baffled by peoples logic.

I'm not allowed to play with the following things

-swords
-daggers
-medieval weaponry of any sort
-fire
-explosives
-Grappling hooks
-Batman memorabilia
-Highland Memorabilia

But people will trust me with fire arms. Bwahahaha

Though in truth the above came later in life, safety with guns has been so far ingrained in my head that it's unreal. When I was younger my father showed me in no uncertain terms what both a hand gun, a rifle and a cross bow will do. Not only on inanimate objects but with hunting as well. While I understand a lot of people have never hunted in their lives, I encourage people who want to know what a gun can do to go. You see first hand the damage a rifle can deal. I mean hell people I talk to still think a crossbow simply puts a hole in you.

Of all the things I'm grateful for my parents teaching me(there's not a lot actually) I can say my father was damn sure to teach me about such things. It's second nature when picking up a gun to check the safety and to see if it's loaded and still treat the damn thing as if it has a round in the chamber and the safeties off.

That being said going out this weekend to teach a friend how to shoot. Hurrah! I really need to spend more time doing out doorsy crap. It's going to be gorgeous today and I can't sleep damnit. I keep trying and I keep tossing and turning. Grrr... Here's hoping round three of laying down and staring at the insides of my eyelids bears fruit.

Today at work a crazy man found me. Along with telling me of how he was tazered for refusing to obey the police and how he was on his way to being a millionare. He also decided to tell me about Pres. Obama. How he is creating his own personal army of black men between the ages of 18-23, that march in their encampment and salute from chest high to straight up in the air (nazi salute) while chanting "Obama Obama Obama". It was one of my surreal conversations in my day. O o

In other news, all is well on the Kristen front. Planning to head to Chicago in the near future with my best friend/wife thing for her 30th B-day. Piracy shall abound! And Parker... We'll get back to you on how you can bail us out of jail from Ohio.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I live this every single day of my life.

Adventures adventures. :P Ended up with an infection now I'm on antibiotics and pain killers that make my stomach do flip flops.

I think I'm going to try and get lots of sleep tonight so I can make a meeting at work tomorrow. But thank god it's spring!

"If there's a rocket in Alabama I'm taking a shit on this damn state!"


Later today I'll be making an update in memory of the Fat Car. Which has fallen to diabetes and dieting.

more animals

O o It's my cats double. Same markings and same lack of intelligence coupled with his desire to eat his weight in food every day!

We all have crazy dreams sometimes. But mine involved Fabio, Sting, my Grandmother, the hunt for a cat at Cat Welfare, the entire Martins Ferry marching band and the cast from Firefly.

Today's gonna be one of those surreal days

I've spent the last ten hours watching various shows on the Nazi era, Hitler and the occult and racism. I've also been drinking a lot vodka.

It's like I can't rant because it's so terribly easy at this point! Back to drinking!

I've never laughed so hard in my life "Or else you trip into space."

So it's storming something fierce here, and this morning my boss called me to let me know we were closing down to store due to the snow and ice. There's nothing quite so lovely as finding out you get an extra day off as well as your normal two days off. It's like being in school again, I feel like crawling into flannel PJ's, drinking hot cocoa and watching cartoons. ;)

Yay weather!

So bored..spending the entire night in training and amusing myself. But I have the next two days off so whoot! I can finally put everything up in the attic where it belongs and relax for a while.

In other news...I'm effing cold right now!

Oh and you know how Columbus has bums? Homeless people? Yeah my area has one. He has his own Facebook page and not only that they made him a freakin' bobble head that they sell at hockey games. I'm not kidding here folks...

:( I'm crying right now, inside and outside.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=3193295155&ref=nf#/group.php?gid=2222872139

So I woke up to my little brother on my front door step pounding as hard as he could, utterly confused I woke up opened the door and he was near in tears. I"ve never seen him so upset, hell I thought he was going to pass out! He just kept babbling about something about my dad and guns so I tried to make him come inside to calm down.

He was having none of that, he made me come out to his truck and he started unloading all of his rifles and my older brothers rifles. The fuck?! Apparently a few hours ago some guys showed up in my parents neighborhood and came up to the door demanding my father sign something and hand over his guns, Adam said he just saw FOGCC on a few things, but doesn't know what it is. They were dressed up in swat gear in unmarked black vans, and they were going up and down the street. My father being my father raised a hell of a fuss and wouldn't give up without a fight and they took him away to god knows where.

When Doug heard about it he handed over his rifles to Adam and sent him up here to have me store them since everyone knows I don't really keep guns. Gah now I'm awake, confused, and in possession of all of our deer hunting rifles. Can someone please tell me what's going on? Adam's on his way home now and he and Doug are trying to figure out where my crazy father was taken so they can bail them out.

Eff this shit I think I'm going to work and then I'll sort stuff out, at least the rifles are tucked away somewhere safe. Does anyone else know what's up?

At least it's happening elsewhere! http://flemco.livejournal.com/2709614.html

Current Mood: confused

So after a long night of drinking and gaming, my morning and the realization of how much I've drank can be summed up in a friend words.

"please don't die, captan scares me"

XD Okay passing out now and hopefully hanging out with a friend this afternoon if he feels up to it. Parker if you read this I've been drinking for 15 hours, call my cell to wake me up before 2 because by then the hangover will probably be waking me up anyway and at least if my head is hurting I'll have good company. XD If not I'm sure I'll message you bitching about it later..

So I've had trouble sleeping all morning this morning, finally I gave up and got online a bit and suddenly felt the craving for fruit. Not just fruit, FRESH fruit. Canned fruit or jarred fruit would not do. So I sat around and the craving got worse...and worse...finally gave up and decided that if my body decided fruit was this needed by god I would go to get fruit. So I managed to get out of my PJ's and started layering clothes to brave the snowy outdoors. I then trudged 3/4th of a mile to go to a nice gourmet store with good fruit, then hiked all the way back. I cut and peeled and made a lovely fruit plate, sat down took a bite and promptly lost interest in eating it.

What the HELL!? My body needs to be punished, I did not walk a mile and a half in the snow when I should be sleeping only to have it go "Meh..I really didn't want it"

Nothing warms my heart more then the fear my friends feel when I threaten to go to watch them get their butts rotorootered for medical reasons. All I need is my Steve Irwin hat, a video camera and a few shots of vodka and I shall make the best video EVAR!

Short of that I'll have a black eye and still be snickering as I'm escorted from the room.